Under The Ground 17: Scende?

Italians like to be prepared. This is my main observation about their principal behavioural characteristics, based on 12 years living in Turin. In support of my thesis, the standard greeting when answering the phone, the equivalent of ‘Hello?’ in England, is ‘Pronto’ (‘ready’, i.e. I’m not only here and sentient, I’m actually fully geared up to speak to you, whoever you are). Prepared not only for life’s more serious and unpredictable hazards, nor even for more foreseeable events like the weather (umbrellas and thick padded coats are very popular), but also for life’s more mundane activities – getting off an underground train, for example.

Twelve years is a long time, but if I remember correctly, exiting the tube in London was a pretty relaxed affair. You sat in your seat until the train stopped, then stood up, ambled over to the door and, barring any major obstacles, stepped out onto the platform. The trauma quotient was on the low side.

Not here. In Turin the perils of being unable to make good your escape from the train require that you stand up at the stop before the stop you want, or even better before that, move purposefully towards the doors and plant your face right up against the glass. A good deal of jostling occurs as everyone has the same idea. So if I’m waiting to get off at my stop, I’m frequently blocked by clusters of passengers waiting for the next one. The etiquette in this situation is to ask the most irritating question in Italian communal life: ‘Scende?’ (‘Getting off?’).

I’ve timed the period that the doors remain open, and it clocks in at around 20 seconds. Almost long enough to saunter down the entire length of the carriage, have a friendly conversation about the weather and play a quick game of chess.

But the good people of Turin are apparently petrified about being blocked in and stuck on Line 1 of the Metro for the rest of their lives. I used to tell them not to worry. If I’m blocking their exit, I’ll get off the train at next the stop and let them out before getting back on myself. These days my reply to ‘Scende?’ is usually ‘I don’t know’. Just to be annoying, you understand.